I’d put everyone on the “Naughty List.”

Tuesday 28 November at 1749 | Posted in Life | 12 Comments

With an empty Christmas shopping list, what else are you to do at a Christmas market?

The boy who likes to shop.

Waiting for a trainIt always happens. Everytime you’re in a rush for the train the “Slow People” arrive. I don’t know where they come from or how they appeared in front of us, but they were there. Moments earlier we had seen that there was a train leaving for the Christmas market town in minutes. So we had to rush. But then you get the old couples. Neither of them know which one has the tickets, let alone where they are. After a quick dash over some stairs along a bridge we managed to get to the train. Out of breath. But we had 30 minutes to go to the next stop so we got our breath back. So we had expectations of grand Christmas scenes. Carol singers,…singing. And other  stereotypes for Christmas. With a handy map we made out way to the market and greeted with crowds. Very large crowds of shoppers. There where no singers, although there was music music playing over the roar of the engines coming from the fair. We did see a tree. But no groto.
Crowded marketWe tried very hard to make it to the stalls. But this was Mission Impossible due to vast amounts of old people and prams. When we got to one end of the stalls, instead of going back and looking at the stalls at the other end we decided to cut our loses, get some fresh air and walk around town for a bit. At least the shops wouldn’t be full as everyone was in he market. Some of the highlights on our little walk included, finding the last remaining shop selling golliwogs. And I have proof.

The last remaining Golloiwog shop?

So as we tried to hunt down a pub that had the football game on, which we couldnt find, we did come along this rather wonky pub, which amused me.

A wonky pub
One straight reference is enough.

So we headed off to see if anything nice could be found. I did realise that I hadn’t bought anything for the housemates. So after endless searching and thinking of every idea from socks to cups. After going in to one small “collectable” store that sold many badges and little sew on covers for holes in pants/coats I did see these lovely gifts that I picked up.

Christmas gifts for the kids.
It was hard thinking, but I think I got some good gifts.

At this point we decided we had been out long enough, no where was showing the footy. We we’re both getting a bit hungry and we didn’t like the huge crowds. So much so that the missus uttered “I think this place has the UK’s population of prams, old people and golliwogs.” She could be right. As we got to the train station, on the grass outside, was something that has been freaking me out quite a lot lately. I first noticed these a few weeks back. But that was in a different place, and here they were again. It wasn’t a one off. There is something the matter with the weather. As Thom Yorke says “or that there is something not quite right about the fact you’re still walking round in a Tshirt in october.” I have been seeing a lot of flowers around this year in teh winter months. And its eerie.

Flowers in winter
Its not right having flowers in Winter.

There was one other thing. As we stood at one of the market stalls looking over some old womans shoulder, the missus spotted landing on the old womans fleece a lady bug. What are they still doing out?



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  1. What, the bug or the old woman? tee hee hee

  2. did that shop also sell white hoods?

  3. I’d take that chocolate fund penny saver for a gift! It’s adorable. I think you did great on the gifts for the housemates!

  4. Soup, The bug, no matter what the weather, like postmen, the old women are here all year round 🙂
    Kerri, I’m sure if I asked if they had any hoods, while tapping my nose, I’m sure I would of been led to a secret basement, under a door covered with fake piles of paper and folders.
    Shelby, I was really stuck for ideas. I dont know the housemates well enough to get them something which they will find personal. I did look for a Count Duckula action figure. But the action figure shop only had boget men and Lost action figures. But when I saw those penny banks I knew I had to have them. For the girls.

  5. Hurrah for global warming, and the imbalancing of the ecosystem!

  6. I bet the ladybug hasnt got a clue what the hell she is doing out at this time of the year. Lets just hope that a swarm of non-hibernating ladybugs come and take over the World as we sunbath during the winter months.

  7. Hi,

    If I may be so bold as to ask, what is a “pram?”

    As to old people, all of our large grocery stores have added electric powered scooters with baskets affixed for use by the old and infirm. Now one can be run over both in the parking lot and in the store. It’s such an improvement.

    the Grit

  8. A pram is just another way of saying a pushchair (those little chairs that you wheel babies around in)

    Scooter powered old shoppers, thats all we need in shopping aisles.

  9. They should be made to take driving tests…

  10. bloody old people
    bloody prams
    bloody racist folk

  11. Soup, if they did have to take a test any old person who attempts an “Emergency Brake” with a reaction time faster then a minute should be passed. ;D haha

    buttons, bloody editing bloody comments! Damn it 😉

  12. We don’t even require re-testing to drive cars! Last year I saw an elderly lady bump into a police officer in a parking lot. The officer, by the way, was walking. The woman apparently didn’t notice the impact, or didn’t consider it important, and kept going. Fortunately, the officer wasn’t seriously injured and managed to chase her down on foot. The old crone acted surprised as she was handcuffed and placed in the back of a squad car.

    Oh, and the electric scooters have a top speed that is slightly less than a normal walking pace, so even with mechanical assistance the old folks can still slow down traffic.

    the Grit

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