I got some pants. But the designer was a Pocket Nazi.

Monday 08 January at 1244 | Posted in Personal, Rants | 11 Comments

With having the hem problems (it had been called cuff in previous posts, how was I supposed to know the difference? Is their a difference?) over the last few days I went and bought myself some very nice pants. But they arent as nice as they first appear.

The boy who likes his new pants…to a degree.

So on my shopping trip on Thursday dinner time I spotted some very nice and very cheap pants in Next.
They werent black, the till and reciept said they were charcoal but Ive never trusted this use of colour) which is good as I dislike wearing anything that is completely black.
Not only do they look good, ie not cheap, they feel great. The material is light, they arent too tight in areas, lke my last pants purchase were, they’re comfortable and they arent too long. Infact the leg length is just right for me. Its like the little bear came and made me some pants.
They are so nice I bought two pairs.

Today is the first day I’ve wore a pair. And they feel good. I was very happy with how they looked. Theyll look even better with my new shoes – more on these next month.
But as I put my hands in the pocket I instantly realised I’d be having a bit of a problem with these pants.
Well, to be exact, with The Pockets.

How is it that a great pair of pants can have such a poor pocket design? Maybe these pants are designed to have pockets that are more of a fashion feature then of any use.
Firstly they are too thin. Its quite hard to but my hand flat in them. If I have change in my pocket that I go to grab it could be quite difficult to get my hand out while its in a fist.
Secondly is the depth. They aren’t that deep. I like a deep pocket. This is for security reasons. So that none of my change or my phone doesnt fall out while I am seated. My desired pocket depth has to be at least a hand deep. This length is based on my hand size and being able to fit my hand in my pockets when its a bit cold.
But my biggest problem with these pockets is the shape. They are square. What this means is that when I put my phone in my pocket, instead of standing straight up vertically, like they do in my regualr trapezium pocketed pants, my phone lies down horizontally. This makes for a really large and rectangular bulge over my leg. Something I’d rather not be fashioning.
What this means is that Ill be trying to think up other ways of carrying my phone, ie coat pocket, bag, that I wouldnt normally use and possible losing it.

These pants would of been some the best pants I had ever bought, in fact they are, but they would of been better if the designer was so hung up on having rectagle pockets. Damn him. You know what he is. He is a Pocket Nazi. He makes great pants, then he demands certain levels of strictness on his pockets.

On a side note, the right hand pocket also has one of those mini pockets within the pocket. Its too small for change, about the right size for my thumb, but what am I suppose to put in there?

Carrying on my pants theme, check out Star Pants. Best read all day.! Oldie but goodie.



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  1. har har!!

    they are very nice pants and do indeed look foxy on you.
    you could always sew up a bit of the pocket to make them triagular and not square?

  2. Thank you kindly missy. They do look good, shame about the pockets though πŸ™‚
    I have some left over wundaweb, maybe I should use that!

  3. there you go! now you can make them whatever shape you want!

  4. only on the internets could i read about other peoples underwear problems lol

  5. But with triangle pockets the change will stay in that bottom corner where Ill never be able to reach it.

    Kerri that may be true, but in this instance I meant pants as in trousers. (To confuse everyone I use pants for meaning both underwear and trousers)

  6. too small – for your hand? But probably not for the hand of your Missus. Get her to root around in them for change etc (hehe, any excuse after all)… πŸ™‚

    depth – well, not suitable for London then with all our pick-pockets (they all look like The Artful Dodger too – don’t believe anyone who tells you otherwise)!

    Little pocket – your thumb fits in it? Well, that’s clearly what it is there for then! It’s for standing looking cool. You know, you hook one thumb in your pocket and stand all jaunty-like.

  7. I have to admit, its a good idea. But I dont wear my work pants at the weekend (which is the only time she will be able to get to them) and I couldnt ask her to follow me around all the time incase I needed loose change.
    That is a fair point. But taking in to account the first point of tight pockets I doubt any pickpocketer could get in and out unnoticed.

    You would think its a thumb pocket. I know of the stance. Thats how I come to realise my thumb sits in it πŸ˜€
    BUT! there is only a tiny pocket on the one side. What do I do with the other, tiny-pocketless sided hand? Maybe wave? Or give out high fives perhaps?

  8. oh yeah, i’ll spend all day with my hand in your pocket!! πŸ˜‰

  9. Hello Sailor.

  10. I sympathise. That’s really gonna mess with your pocket planning:


  11. […] buying some rather nice new pants the other day and being shown some very funky new shoes as a birthday present from the missus I […]

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