Monday 26 March at 1731 | Posted in Humour, Life, Rants | 15 Comments

I’l get round to my weekend soon. But first a quote that I heard a few minutes ago as I picked up my shampoo and smelly spray.

A woman does some photcoying and heads to the counter to pay.
Pharmacist “Would you like your reciept?”
Customer “…hmmm.” Thinks about it. “Yeah sure. Just incase.”

Just incase what? The taxman doesnt believe you spent a pound on photocopying?
Just incase the paper breaks down half way through reading it and you need it repaired?
What just incase of?


All I need is a dog called Shep

Wednesday 21 March at 2136 | Posted in Life, Lifestyle, London, Personal | 14 Comments

So I’ve been in my new crib for almost a month now. It will be a month this weekend. I know that as I have to fork of £150 more to the train people. But it’s gotta be done.

And now I’m trying to get a lay of the land. See what’s about. Mainly see what drinking establishments are about. What I would like and so on.

I have me temporary afterwork drinks sorted. I have my temporary near my closest station from work drinks sorted. You know the one, the pub where you go to if you don’t fancy joining the herd of cattle climbing on the grey tin boxes to head home.

The only establishment I have yet to find are the places you go to for a night out. Whether that be a a weekend of clubbing or a school night listening to live bands.

I’ve checked the free London paper’s for what on. The adverts normally look like
“blah blah blah. Neartest tube. Postcode”

For example
“An annoying chain bar. Leicester Square. WC2”

Without really venturing in to London much for a night out. My gut feeling tells me to stay away from any bars that are in the EC or WC postcode. Just to be safe. Stay away from the big chains and the tourists.

What I have found is two places I am very excited about.

Scram! Live! I don’t know how often this night is on. Once a month? Fortnightly? Who knows? It has great sounding music – check out the download section. It looks like the place where rule number one is have fun. Where people are friendly and you wouldnt look out of place in a full kitted out cricket outfit.
My first Scram party is this Saturday. Make sure you check back for details.

I’ve also found Cargo. My basic rule of thumb is if it says “electro, indie, rock” then it’s worth a look. If it boasts Sweedish pop stars, inventor of scratch, bar, restaurant, movies and more then it must be fun. Its like the Swiss Army Knife of the bar World.
And although Cargo does exsist within EC2, breaking my first rule, it’s variety has won me over. Also it’s within long walking distance – a short taxi – to Scram, so I can kill two birds with on stone this weekend.

And this is what I have found without even looking at Camden.

I’ve shown you mine now lets see yours 😉 Where do you recommend for a good night out?

Perhaps you may even bump in to me at one of these places. But I promise to be nice as pie.

And whatever you plan to do this weekend. Play nicely

The end of a Trilogy

Monday 19 March at 1523 | Posted in Humour, Life, Lifestyle, London, Personal | 1 Comment

I was going to write about my first day in London during a snow storm. Would I have to make arrangement’s and camp inside Victoria? Perhaps learn some Survival Tips from a homeless person. I do have my new waterproof and breathable coat so I would of had some protection from the eliments.
Speaking of which, how are fancy coats waterproof AND breathable. To be waterproof would mean no holes. To be breathable would indicate holes. Maybe they just have half holes?

But the snow – or sleet – storm didn’t last long. About 30 secondes. I’d of missed had the whole office not ran to teh windows. But I’m still betting there will be some servere delays on the way home.

Seeing also that I have

So instead let’s get back to the finale of my fake jobs.

This is my newest, untested and favourite fake job. As it still is untested if you would like to use it at a party be my guest. Give me some feedback.

On my way in to work the other week I walked past a shop that had some great posing mannequins. They it hit me. What a great fake job. Or even a great real job if you’re very lucky.

Being a model for mannequin’s. Basically sitting – or standing – in a room and coming up with great posses for mannequin design’s. Holding the chin, pointing at stuff or, my personal favourite, variations on the Michael Jackson Thriller cover pose. The kind of job you could easily get if you had catalgoue model experience.

 Perhaps I’ll get to try this out next weekend. I’m off to Scram Party. It’s in the centre of London and could be a bit of a mission getting home on teh night busses. Which may give me extra time to try out my new fake job. I hope it goes down well.

For Ms Right, Girl on a Train and especially Bluesoup*

Thursday 15 March at 0907 | Posted in Humour, Life, Lifestyle, London, Rants | 9 Comments

So taking a break from my fake job trilogy, I’ll bring you my newest and all time favourite fake job later. Here is something that caught my eye the other day while shopping that made me think of you gal’s and guy’s – if there are any guy’s reading my blog, except Kerri….

So the other day on my way home from work I popped to the shops to do The Big Shop. I picked up my basket and noticed that the new basket was much bigger and plasticier then the old small metal ones. See here….

New basket

Then on closer inspection I noticed something that will anger many. And I mean really annoy ALOT of people.

These brand new baskets also have the ability to do a new thing. So here I am warning many of you commuters like Bluesoup, Ms Right, Girl on a Train. Just be careful next time you go shopping because shopping baskets now have a slidey handle with wheels and can be wheelied about by old people, annoying children and large groups of families.

Whhelie Basket

So watch out as no longer are annoying wheelie people confined to bus/train stations and surrounding areas. They are now down your local supermarket!!

*And all other haters of wheelie suitcase people.

I’ll take this job then

Tuesday 13 March at 2116 | Posted in Lifestyle | 5 Comments

So I spoke with the agency yesterday with regards to the job I really want. I was told that the woman who has been helping me out and arranging my interviews is off for two weeks. “Bollocks” I thought. “If she’s off for two weeks there is no way that anyone else will know about this. I’ll have to wait till she is back.”
The lady who answered my call explained that she was aware of my situation, this was before I got in to detail and that she has not heard anything yet but will try and find something out. But she did say that the company “we’re very impressed and very much wanted me working for them.” Nice.

So to continue what I started last week. Job’s I’ve made up.

My second job was working on the littlre green men lights on crossing. Only green. Not red. That was a whole other department. The green man is much better as you get more freedom in the poses that you can make him stand in. A person can only look still in one pose.
There were obvious debates through out the company about whether to use one large light or LED’s. I was a LED person. Large single lights were too retro. The LED group where very much younger and hipper.

I didn’t use this one for too long. I realised there wasn’t too much to say about making green men afterwards.

Not that I’m saying any greenmen makers out there are in boring jobs. But it wasn’t the pretend job for me.

On a side note, I have a great picture blog for Ms Right coming up soon. Something I know that will make her smile. But Life On Mars is on so that will have to wait. But Ms Right, it is worth the wait 😉

Well I’ll have this job

Thursday 08 March at 1316 | Posted in Lifestyle | 5 Comments

A while back I used to spend time thinking up fake job’s for myself. The kind of job that I would tell people I had if I was in a club or at a party. Some of my better one’s are my earlier ones.

One of my first one’s was working in research department for a company that create protctive glass for banks, shops, buses etc, but working in the department that deal with creating the holes that allow people to speak through. Researching whats the best way to make sound clear and keep people safe.
I’d even thought up a great line,
“Yeah there is lots of progress within the securi-talk business,” that was my nickname for it. “We’re testing different hole sizes, spacing of the holes. The positioning. We even have one idea that is in early testing where we put a sticker on the table saying “Beware of protective glass.” Sticking up the frame of the glass but not actually having any protective glass there. A Placebo Securi-Talk Technique. Or what I like to call…” laugh out loud to self, “PSST! We currently have that testing in a set up in a Yorkshire Bank in Leeds”

Later on I’ll bring you my second favourite fake job and my newest addition.

Team O Tay

Wednesday 07 March at 0941 | Posted in Life | 11 Comments

Yesterday I was at a pub quiz. We did really badly. Joint last. At least we were joint.

Believe it or not, and contrary to my belief based on the fact she pleasured a pig, Rebecca Loos was not the winner of some Safari Zoo TV show.

The team that did win were called ‘Quiz Team Aguilera.’ With a name like that they must be professionals.

Update about my interview

Tuesday 06 March at 1041 | Posted in Life, London, Personal | 6 Comments

Well I have been waiting since last Friday from a call back from the agency who have got me the interview for this job that I really really want.
Yesterday I had a miss call and voice message on my phone. When I checked it it said
“Hi Boy Who’d Like this Job. This is the agency. Could you call me back soon please.”

It sounded important. Didn’t sound like good news, but sounded important. So I called them back straight away.

Here is the phoe conversation, minus the greeting.

“Well I have some good news and bad news.”
“Bad news is, they didn’t give you the job. They had another person who they felt was more suited to this role. They went with him. They did say it was diffiicult to chose between you and the other person.”
“OK” (I have great phone manners don’t I.)
At this point I was thinking OK, so I’ve not got the job. Maybe she is just being nice about the whole “it was a hard choice.” But at least there is good news. Maybe the agency have another vacancy somewhere. But I really wanted this one in Camden.
“Well the good news is, they said because the choice was so hard to make between you and the other person that they would like to put you forward for another role that will be coming up in a few weeks. Thy just need to get some papers signed.”
“OK” (This time it was in a higher pitched tone)
“So I was just wanting to know if you had any other interviews, or job prospects? As you seemed really keen to work for these. So what are you plans?”
“Well I am doing a part time job at the moment. I cancelled all my other interviews and offers as I was really hoping to get this.”
“So your current job would be ok until you started here. You’d be happy to take up the other role? I’m not too sure what it is, but it’s similar to the last role, just a bit different.”
“Yeah sure.”
“Good. I’ll call them straight back to them and let them know that you’d like to take up their offer.”

Now I am a little disappointed that I didn’t get teh role. But I like the fact that they want to keep me on for anothe role. The agency seemed very geniune with saying that they wanted me for another position. I can’t see why they would lie about it. Would they lie like that?
The only problem is nothing is confirmed. Papers have to be sigend, there is alot of waiting. I’m a bit worried that I put off getting a new job and then have this fall through.
It’d be nice if I was told that teh wheels where in motion. Anything. Just something.
But fingers crossed I’ll be told something soon. And hopefully be working for the company that I’ve wanted to work in before moving down here.

No naked women parading here

Saturday 03 March at 0849 | Posted in Life, London, Personal, Rants | 9 Comments

Last night whilst out with Pinkosa and the fantastic Ms Right I got my first Bloody-London-priced round in. £13 for 3 drinks. If my dad seen me pay these prices he’d never speak to me again. So no one say a word.
Although after seeing off Ms Right, me and Pinkosa headed off to some crappy club to see some of my other friends. One person got a round in for the four of them that cost over £20. Glad Im not him.
I was going to say this is one way to stop binge drinking, make the price of drinks too much, but there were plenty of out of it overly drunk people at this club. They are obvioulsy being paid too much, or will be doing nothing at all for the rest of the month.

Tonight its a bit of culture with some comedy. Hopefully the comedian will be the only thing I am laughing at and not the drink prices.

Walk like a cowboy

Thursday 01 March at 2007 | Posted in Life | 7 Comments

Yesterday a man in a cowboy hat walked in to our offices. Had I not been working in HR I wouldn’t of been worried about making sudden movements and taking his hat.


At least it’s the weekend.

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