Waiting room

Tuesday 10 April at 1207 | Posted in Life, Lifestyle, London, Personal, Rants | 11 Comments

The NHS is in debt. Free health service for all. Fantastic. In a list of idea’s its up there with Concorde, Veyron and PS3. Fantasitc on paper, but very costly. Its losing alot of money. And I wanted to help.

The boy who likes the NHS.

So I had a doctor’s appointment just before Easter. Nothing serious, just to register with a doctor since moving down from Leeds.

While making the appointment days weeks earlier, I overheard the receptionist telling one person that they can check in via a new shiny sparkly touch screen computer in the corner. My words, not hers.

When I arrived the morning of my appointment I went straight to the screen, despite the fact there was no queue at the reception desk and within a few button presses – half of them being “Start Again” – I was all booked in for my appointment. No queing behind old ladies. No wasting time. Nice.

When I looked at the machine I noticed that you could do finger print booking in. This is a genious idea. Very futuristic. Just pop in your thumb and voila, the doctor knows you are waiting.

I headed over to the reception desk to ask about it. Waited around for 5 minutes until someone finally came to the desk – thank god for the automated checking in – only to be told that isn’t in place yet.

Before I left the house for my appointment that morning I had a few forms to fill in. At the bottom of each one it read “Dont forget to bring a urine sample with you.”

I remember the receptionist saying something when I first made the appointment but I put it down to mishearing. The last time I peed in a cup I did it at the doctors. But I was wrong. So I had 10 minutes to rush around the house to find something to pee in. I couldnt use a cup it was too big. There wasn’t really anything I could find to pee in as I opened all the draws and cupboards.

When my name was called in the waiting room I headed over to the nurse. She asked for my forms and my sample. I pulled out my see through container with my sample inside and handed it to her. She commented on how well wrapped in cling film it was. I explained that I didnt want a pee-leak in my bag.

She laughed about how the NHS are making cut backs so cant offer out pee cups.

“Youve just stuck a very expensive touch screen, finger printing automated machine in your waiting room. That’s why you can’t afford cups.”

I then went on to explain where I got my sample holder from

I just hope the missus doesn’t try to find her silver glitter as it will all be down the toilet now.

And she will only know where her glitter holder has gone when she read’s this….eeeeeeeep



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  1. First of all ewww! I hope you are going to buy pinky replacement glitter.

    Secondly how cool does that computer sound!!


    you are the funniest person i’ve ever met… good job you didn’t get glitter all over your wotsit..

  3. and i can’t believe you didn’t tell me!

  4. […] unknown wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptThe boy who likes the NHS. So I had a doctor’s appointment just before Easter. Nothing serious, just to register with a doctor since moving down from Leeds. While making the appointment days weeks earlier, I overheard the receptionist … […]

  5. Sparkly piss might confuse them a bit too, hopefully there was none left in the glitter pot!

  6. lol! We have the same thing in Canada (Health Care for EVERYONE!). Unfortunately, this includes loads of people from the states who abuse our system of being able to walk into a hospital and be treated. And also, newly immigrated people who fly in their whole families to use the system, then fly them back.

    Whenever something is free – it will be abused.

  7. You. Are. So. Dead.

    PS – hurrah for the return of The Boy Who Likes (to)… Yippee

  8. Pinkosa, I was trying to se how good my secret keeping skills are.

    Rich glitter in my pee would of baffled the nurse for sure.

    Venting it is annoying when it is abused. Surely the way the Canadian Nurses could combat this is by asking “what is your address?” Then simple weeding out those who tick the Canada box and those that dont. Although it could be tricky 😀 hehe

    Soupster lukcily I am still alive. I promised to buy more glitter. The return may not be for long. It may not bee all the time. I might only use it for just long ranting posts. Just dont get too attached. PS what happened to JET?

  9. Haha, genius! And funny too.

  10. Definitely sounds like time for new glitter. Yikes!


  11. Chintzona thank you.

    Shelby youre right. I still havent been out to buy the missus any new glitter either. I must get round to that.

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