Nice help

Thursday 04 October at 0717 | Posted in Humour, Life, Lifestyle, Personal, Sandwiches, Work | 6 Comments

Or “The feeling you have when you resolve important things fast.”

I know I was going to make a post about underwear, but I received an email yesterday that trumps the underwear post. I will get round to that though.

When I went for the interview for my new job I was asked to give references. I got a call from the agency later that day asking for a character reference. After speaking with my mum for a bit for someone who fits the description I handed over some details the agency could call to get a character reference for me. This happened to be my aunt.
My mum sent me a copy of the reference to me so I could see what had been written.

How / in what capacity is the individual known to you?
My stupid sister’s idiotic son.

How long has the individual been known to you?
Far too long.

Please outline areas of:
Strength:

Robert is able to lift a pint glass from the bar, he also has the ability to be the first at the buffet table even when not yet opened.
Weakness:
Robert tends to abuse company trust, he will access the internet in work time, he will also post unclassified [sic] information onto youtube.
Please provide brief comments regarding character, including the individual’s honesty and integrity:
Robert has no honesty or intergrity, he tends to blame his faults on the person sitting next to him and then hopes they will get the sack and not him.
Are you aware of any reason why this individual might not be suitable for employment?
For all reasons under the sun you should steer cleer of this lying deceitful selfish person, who is not fit for any jobs even if it entails emptying your trash can.
Any additional information:
Robert will only work if the job entails to go on the internet, you tube and have a pint in in his hand, but please can relay this application as a good one to Robert as I want him to babysit for me next week.

As far as I know I still have a job, perhaps the agency have not looked at the reference.

In other great news. I have found three potential deli sandwich shops. The hard part of the new job is over. Finding a good sandwich shop is something that has taken me up to a few months in some jobs. Lucky for me I have found three potential sandwich shops all on one street on day one.
I’ll have more on these later.

One more thing, while looking around for sandwich shops I came across a pub that has a fantastic competion. Nope not kareoke. But table top football.
During 21st October to 26th there is a table top football (or foosball) tournement. I think I have a chance. A few years back, one office I was working in had a foosball table in the canteen and for about 2 years I played foosball nearly every break.
Any people fancying taking part or even wanting to be my cheerleaders, then youll need to go to the Tom Foolery Pub in Bromley on those dates. Look it up on yell if you don’t know where it is.
Wish me luck!

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6 Comments »

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  1. You do post the funniest posts sometimes.

  2. i dunno about cheerleader – i’ll be team nurse though 😉

  3. Haaha….love the fact that the employers didn’t even bat an eyelid. Maybe you fit in perfectly with everyone else 😀

  4. sounds like the kind of references my family would give me. kudos to keeping the job in spite of it though. that’s talent! 😀

  5. Soupster a thank you 😉

    Pinkosa, do you have a first aid kit?

    Jo and Joebec, I’m a little disappointed. I was hoping you could tell this was a joke. Damnit guys, you must try harder next time.

  6. of course i knew it was a joke silly, so was my comment!


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