Bah humbug

Monday 24 December at 0912 | Posted in Humour, Life, Personal, Rants, Work | 8 Comments

Ok, I know it’s Christmas Eve, but I am in work.

In my defence I have the rest of the week off. I won’t be getting paid for my days off – I will miss a weeks pay during the period of time in the year that I spend the most money. Plus my employer has said I only have to work half a day and they will put in whole days pay. So I thought why not?

So in work and we have the radio on. The station are doing something nice and handing out £500 to people who are at work on Christmas Eve and Day. Aswell as sending some treats over to their work for all their colleagues to enjoy.
Just as the DJ asks the lucky new owner of £500 what his plans were with the money – I was now interested in this little telephone bit – one of the other two persons in the office gets up and does some photocopying and drowns out the the sound of the station with the photocopying mcahine.

Now I’ll never know what the guy planned to do with his money!

Not only am I annoyed by that. But also who comes in to work on Christmas Eve to do h’actual work? (Except Santa of course)

Merry Christmas dudes and dudettes.

And I hope you have a Neat New Year too!

(PS for those also stuck in the office today, check out this humorous post from Bettys blog)

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Crime Watch

Thursday 20 December at 1458 | Posted in Humour | Leave a comment

Or “Spotted” 

Gandalf is set free from Guantanamo Bay. Does this mean that the US are on the same side as Sauron and Mordor?

Will Gandalf return back to his terrorist friend’s Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee?
Or will he head off to Bradford and open a kebab/curry shop, possible called ‘Abra Kebabra,’ ‘Lord of the Spice,’ or even ‘Chicken Tikka Middle-Earth’?

The Cut

Thursday 20 December at 0930 | Posted in Life, Lifestyle, Personal, Rants | 6 Comments

Or “The downside to having a face lift.”

I’m quite good at shaving. I’ve been shaving my face on and off now for hmmmm….for around 8 years or so.

I’ve gone through many styles. The complete shave – when I first started. Then I started to go for the stubble look – this was way back when I was cool and went out to places called “clubs.” There was even a time when I thought I’d try and grow my beard and didn’t shave at all. That last a few months. I was quite pleased with my dedication.

But there is one thing that woman dislike it is stubble. Okay, maybe not all but some and they include my missus. So I shave. Which not only do I not mind but I prefer at the moment.
Obviously when shaving there is always that danger of cutting yourself. And I like almost all other men have done and will continue to cut my face sometimes when shaving.

But when I shaved yesterday I cut my lip. I’ve never cut my lip before. I don’t really shave my lips either. But for some reason I cut my lip a bit and it hurt. And there was quite a bit of blood for some time.
But it had stopped in time for me to head to work, saving me from bleeding everywhere. And there were no other problems, until I was talking with a colleague and politely laughed about something mildly funny and hardly interesting and my lip started to bleed again. So I had to race to the toilet for some tissue to stop the blood.

From that momnet on for the rest of the day I kept my top lip absolutely still. I had to make sure that no one, at all, made me laugh. Full stop.

I looked like the more handsome brother of Lesley Ash, or some other celeb hungry wannabe who has just had a mouthful of botox.

I don’t know how the rich and vain put up with really?

It’s only Tuesday

Tuesday 18 December at 1045 | Posted in Humour, Life | 2 Comments

Or “How I stopped myself from the eternal morning thought that it was Wednesday :(”

The longest headline you will see all week. (Possibly, it’s only still only Tuesday. Despite what I have been telling myself)

Full headline reads;

Where do the guns come from in Cuyahoga County? Ohio ranked seventh in the nation as a source of guns used in crimes. 6,135 guns sold in Ohio were used to commit crimes last year . 1,819 guns used in crimes in 39 states last year were first sold in Ohio. 123 crime guns traced by Cleveland police last year were first sold at one suburban dealership — Atlantic Gun & Tackle in Bedford Heights. Cleveland seized 1,095 guns in 2006 and 956 so far in 2007. Some guns used in crimes are stolen or borrowed. Others, criminals say, are found in bushes or under rocks. The origins of some guns can never be traced because they are too old or the serial numbers are filed off. The majority, though, are bought legally from federally licensed gun dealers and then resold on the streets. And local law enforcement can’t do much about it.

Don’t you just hate it when a headline gives away the story?

Some little things

Monday 17 December at 1445 | Posted in Lifestyle, Personal | 1 Comment

I’m feeling a bit tired. The missus has had a terrible cough of late. So bad in fact that she even had to go and sleep in her old room as the cough was keeping us both awake.
If I had had the cough I would of offered to sleep in a different room. Although the missus would say I was “making up the cough” that I “wasn’t really ill” and just looking for an excuse to go somewhere with enough room for my ‘chicken elbows.’

The wind is very loud up here on 12th floor. 

Drinking while talking is not a good habit to encourage.

I’ve done very little today. Well I’ve done a lot, its just not relative to what I should be doing.

Did I mention how loud the wind is up here?

The Void

Friday 14 December at 1346 | Posted in Humour, Life, Personal, Rants, Work | 3 Comments

Or “Just. Feed. Me. Damn it”

Well my new job can get quite at times. The reasons for this are that I’ve not been shown the proverbial ropes. The office has like 6 people in it at most, at any given time. And there just isn’t much to do.
But the guy who is suppose to be training me has to do what little work there is, which leaves me with……

YOU!

I have so much free time that within a few days my Google Reader has shot from 99+ down to zero. I’m on top of my blogs and news. So much so I’ve added a few new ones.
But sometimes it gets a little quite. And I’ll check google and nothing. Sometimes I am even first to comment.

I’m getting so quick sometimes that I feel if I concentrate hard enough I will be able to comment on a entry that hasn’t even been submitted yet…

do you think they could put me in season 2 of Heroes?

The Never Ending Story

Tuesday 11 December at 1948 | Posted in Life, Personal, Runcorn, Work | 10 Comments

Or “The feeling you get while waiting around for the Karma Police.”

It’s been a while. A lot has happened. Christmas is nearly upon us. I know this as those festive adverts are making an appearance on TV’s which signal that Yultide Time is upon us. Of course I am talking about the Drink Driving campaigns – remember kids, don’t do it.
Also Santa and his little elves have descended in to shopping malls and placed giant grottos in everyones way. Of course I now know that these grottos are actually fronts for some sort of money laundering business. Or at least a criminal gang. The obvious signs for this are the elves sat outside the grotto. No longer are they inside giving away presents for free, but now they sit outside taking money from adults – and more importantly children.
Also I was up North recently having an early Christmas and opening some early Christmas presents. But I wont go to much in to that for fear of kicking off a revolt and upsetting some people who might be jealous.

In other news I started a new job. It’s all happened very, very, quick. I got a call from an agency on Tuesday – I haven’t been job hunting, this one looked for me. They sent me some details by email and I said it looked good. It wan’t much further from where I am no. Same travel cost’s. But more pay.
Then on Thursday I got a call from the agency saying that the employers loved my CV and wanted me to start immediately. I of course was shocked as I am customed to interviews, the waiting process. Thinking have or have I not got it? And then a little while after giving up finding out I do have the job.
I had my first day today. It seems like a decent place. The job looks pretty straight forward. Its basically like filing, but on a massive scale. The office is pretty laid back. This may be due to the fact that the office is being shut down in a few months time, which maybe a reason as to why I thought the wage was a bit too much for the role.
But I had to also let my previous employer know that I was leaving immediately. It was something I have never done. Normally I give employers more then enough notice. Like months notice. So it was a bit weird phoning up and saying that I wont be in again after promising a weeks notice.
Now I’m just waiting for the Karma Police to come and read me my rights.

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