From the department of…

Monday 04 February at 1047 | Posted in Humour, Lifestyle | 10 Comments

…saying what you’re all thinking.

Fish flavoured bread! Really?

Added bonus, nice review.

(My personal theory is; is that in a few years the scientists of Political Correctness Gone Mad University will deem Omega 3 to be highly unhealthy and millions of lawsuits will fly at every brand carrying Omega 3.)

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The next time…

Thursday 31 January at 1407 | Posted in Humour, Life, Personal, Rants, Sandwiches, Work | 14 Comments

The BBC website’s main story is about the awful weather. I wasn’t sure or not whether to chance the weather and make a dash for my regular sandwich shop? Continue Reading The next time……

My top 5 discontinued* products

Tuesday 22 January at 1113 | Posted in Humour, Lifestyle, Personal | 34 Comments

5) Lets start with Start. The one thing that stuck out about Start, if I remembered, was the box was much smaller then the regular sized cereal boxes. It was like it was a league of its own. Possibly even some sort of “special-high energy” cereal. I was never allowed it much as a kid. This often fueled the mystery around it. Although most kids would be able to tell you all Start was, was just three Honey Nut Loops joined together.
To me it was more.
And as some keen eyers out there may of spotted, the above box – from the Kellogs site – has those really helpful nutrition guides on the box, so they must be out there.

4) TaB Clear. This is a slight cheat. I never really liked TaB Clear much. I tried it a few times, but it never tasted like cola. But that was only half of the TaB Clear equation. The major selling point of TaB Clear was that it was a see-through cola. This was pretty crazy in the fizzy pop World and as any kid would tell you, cola is brown. To get a see through cola was frickin weird.

3) Weighed bag of sweets. The grand father of pick’n’mix. All corner shops I remember as a kid had shelves full of different types of sweet. You could buy any amount of any sweet. 50p of Pear Drops. Or perhaps 70p of Cola Pips. Alot of the time me and my friends would have to route through all the shelves and large jars of sweets to find the sweet we wanted that day. Sometimes you’d have a sweet in mind and spend 10 minutes moving about the shopkeepers neatly stocked jars just to find Midget Gems.
My favourites were Jelly Beans and Bon-Bons.
Of course these sweets are around, but now they can only be found in cinemas and at prices about 4 times as much as they used to be.
Just not the same.

2) Cheetos. Ok, they are just Wotsits. But they they taste far nicer. I remember the first time I had Cheetos, it was for winning the Pepsi Vs Cola Challenge. (I don’t remember this day for the prize, don’t think I obsess over Cheetos. I just don’t win many competitions, when I do it’s remembered. Also Pepsi tastes nicer, so it was pretty easy.)
When over in Spain last year they had these crisps everywhere. I think I must of gone through two large packets everyday. Just sitting by the pool with my queso crumb covered fingers. What a great time that was!

1) Ricicles. These were some of my all time favourite cereals. They were like a Frosties version of Rice Crispies.
Yes there was that one time they added the marshmallow men, ufos and creatures to the cereal but that didn’t work out. I did try and eat the marshmallow shapes a few times, but ended up picking them out of my bowl.
A couple of times when we have been shopping I have told the missus about my love for Ricicles and often searched them out. She thought I was going insane a few times.
Another photo of a cereal box with those really helpful nutrition guides on the box, so they must be out there. Somewhere.

Special mention: Branston pickle. Ok technically I shouldn’t include this as this product has not been discontinued. Actually you can still get Branston Pickle EVERYWHERE! Fact.
But I had a jar full of it the other day and it’s gone pretty fast. I was pretty shocked as I was just starting to perfect my pickle:cheese ratio.

* although I say discontinued, I understand that some products just may not be sold in this country/shop near where I live. This is more a ‘top 5 I cant find products’ list.

Slow day

Monday 21 January at 1437 | Posted in Humour, Lifestyle | 7 Comments

Ok it’s a bit of a slow day today, I did have something I wanted to write about. I think it was somethign to do with sticks or perhaps plastic cups. It was something like that.

Instead I’l have a go at implementing a new idea in to my blog. Basically I’ll check out my top searches, ie search engine results that have sent people here, get one of you lovely guys or gals to pick a number. And which ever search that number correspondes with I’ll try and help out that person with their search/problem.

Confused?

Just pick a damn number…(and so everyone can have a go, the same person cannot go twice in a row.)

First person to shout out wins.

Weather warning

Tuesday 15 January at 1352 | Posted in Humour, Life, Lifestyle, Personal, TV | 8 Comments

Phew. I managed to make it to the sandwich shop and back in time before the rain came pouring back down. 
I have informed you this is a blog about weather, so don’t complain afterwards.
The current weather in Malaga (south Spain) is a sunny and pleasant 17C. Warm enough to take a stroll to the beach with a light jacket on.
None of this head blowning off gales.
I did warn you it was about the weather.

I also read today that that thanks to the writers strike over in America, Gladiators made a return recently.
Apparently it did so well that it is getting a second series. (Which means it’s already doing better then some fantastic shows, Studio 60, Jericho to name a few.)

I certainly wouldn’t argue if they brought back Gladiators here in the UK. I’d certainly watch it just for Jet.
I’d love to go a few rounds with her on Hang Tough.

Lads, go check out her ‘stats.’ (SFW)

Right I’m off to see how many images Google has of Jet in her spandex bikini work.

PS I’ve been watching The [American] Office. It recently started on Paramount – and I believe will be on ITV4 soonish. I highly recommend you watch it. Most of the characters obviously aren’t as good as the UK ones, but some of the stories/scenes are very funny.
The was a scene in last nights one (the episode were Michael Scott/main boss/Gervais character injures himself) were a few characters are driving to the hospital. I kept thinking it was a little Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas-esque. I might of even woken up the missus a few times.

PS it’s my birthday in a few weeks – February 12 – if you guys and gals are stuck for a present here is a tip….number 3. 😀

the deed

Monday 14 January at 0957 | Posted in Humour, Lifestyle, Personal | 11 Comments

Well the weekend has past, were you able to guess what my big deal was?
Yes of course it was getting my hair cut.

I’ve had my longish style now for almost 2 years. It was starting to get a little annoying. It took forever to dry and it would naturally curl up unevenly at the sides. If I hadn’t had change to straighten it then I knew that all throughout the day I was be getting annoyed at curls flicking up in my eye.
 Plus as I got it cut before falling out of love with the longer style then at least I know I can still go back to it….in the summer…when I can’t afford a hair cut while working on €3 per hour.

I’ve always said that my fall back hair, the hair cut I can reply on when I am clean out of new ideas for styles, is the mohullet. A fusion of the mullet and mohican. (The mullet of course is the most understated hair style)
Here is my old hair. Linky
And my older old but new hair.Linky
I like it. I was even complemented at the hairdressers also – but because the hairdresser was rushing me I didn’t get chance to fully bath in the compliments from the girl sat next to me.
My neck and ears now do feel slightly colder when outside. I feel like I can run faster, jump higher. Generally more streamlined then last week.
I even got to show it off at drinks with old colleagues. Haircuts in their essence are better when seen by others.

Over all I’m happy with it. And also now there won’t be any fighting or queuing with me and the missus when trying to use the hair-drier or straighteners.

It’s all gone. It’s all gone.

Friday 11 January at 1339 | Posted in Humour, Life, Lifestyle, Personal | 4 Comments

What’s all gone?

That’s right, it’s T minus today. But what could the Big Surprise possible be?

-We’ll let’s just say I am all booked in.
-I almost didn’t go through with it. When I was getting ready this morning and I was looking in the mirror I kept thinking “It’s not that bad….NO NO. It has to go. I’ll just have to not look at my reflection as much today”
-I am a little bit excited about it. It was maybe 6 months ago since I done it last time.

I’ll make sure to tell you at the weekend. You’ll just have to wait a little while longer.

But if you don’t have access to the net at home and wonder how will you get through the weekend, why not carry out my weekend routine with me, by proxy…

Tonight – Go out with some friends. See people you haven’t seen in a while and have a few drinks

Saturday – Listen to the Chelsea Vs Tottenham game. Spend all game hoping that Anelka grabs a hat-trick on his debut. Watch the fantastic You’ve Been Framed [ITV]. (As long as Harry Hill stays there this will continue to be a great show). Catch the first episode of season two of Primeval [ITV]. Hope it’s just as good prime time viewing as the highly watchable season 1

Sunday – Watch Louis Theroux [BBC2]. Not only is the guy genius, he is going in to a frickin American scary prison.

Then spend Sunday night/Monday morning downloading the very funny Russell Howard and Jon Richardson podcast and decide, yourself, whether or not it’s worth trying out the Russell Brand podcast again. He can be very funny [see his stint in Big Brother Takeover] but I hate it when he is energetic and high pitched.

Oh yeah, and also get in touch with the parents and ask about any other siblings you might have that you don’t know about.

Office supplies for the home

Friday 11 January at 1202 | Posted in Humour, Life, Lifestyle, Personal | 12 Comments

The office I am working in deals with alot of paper. They have lots of stationery here and paper modifing machines (read many different printers/copiers)

One they they also have here that I’ve got a fascination for and would love back home is  a guillotine. A paper guillotine of course. I’ve not just discovered some long lost French gene.

If I had a paper guillotine at home I’d have hours and hours of fun cutting perfect lines of paper. I’d get a get a big piece of paper, rip of the sides – so they looked all horrible and uneven – and then sliced brand new perfect edges.

Oh how the edges would be so perfect.

I could even set up a shop and invite people to come along and test out my paper cutting skills.
They could challenge me to cut pieces [squarely] to any size. For a small charge I could cut requested sizes for customers.
If you have a birthday card that was a few millimetres too big for it’s envelope?
Just come see me and in no time and a quick swoosh that card will be fitting snug in to it’s undersized envelope.
Or vice versa, if someone wanted an envelope open, with the guillotine precision straight lines I could easily line up a envelope to cut just the top off and leave the card intact.

How my life would be so much different with a guillotine.


The paper guillotine, every home should have one.

Edit_ Changed stationary to stationery at the behest of the grammar constable.

T Minus 1 (Day)

Thursday 10 January at 1028 | Posted in Humour, Life, Lifestyle, Personal | 6 Comments

But what is it one day to? Friday? The weekend? Almost the return of the fantastic Primeval? (actual that’s two days away, but I still highly recommend watching this ITV show)

No hints. Not asking Pinkosa for the answer. You’ll just have to stay in suspense.

Speaking of suspense this reminds me of short story. Isn’t it funny how actions are in fact louder then words.
This is one of my favourite anecdotes as it is of me, and I was reminded of it at a party back in the summer by a friend and the host. It was often brought up back in ‘the day.’ My friend said;

Rob, remember that time we were all at some party. It was pretty early in the morning, everyone was pretty much wasted. You decided to tell a story. Towards the end of the story, half way through a sentence you walked out of the room. You were gone for a few minutes and walked back in finshing off your story. Everyone was a little confused about what you had done and when asked, you simple said
….
….
“To build up a bit of suspense.”

No one could ever remember the story I was telling. Then legend grew of the story about me telling a story.

Which goes on to show how boring my anecdotes are. A bit like this.

Do you have a favourite anecdote about yourself?

I smell something fishy

Wednesday 09 January at 0832 | Posted in Humour, Life, Personal, Rants | 6 Comments

Can fish be picky?

I bought some new fish food the other day and they don’t seem to be eating it as much as their regular food. It was quite expensive stuff too, £5.70. Although it might of been more expensive then usual as it was twice as much.
It was also a well known brand of fish food, Tetra or something. I remember the name from the food that my mum used to use to feed that families fish. And it was saying that this was the premium gold fish food.
I don’t know how they can tell how fish like certain tastes? Do they have fish focus groups to trial different tastes, flavours and textures?

Regardless of how they do it, Pinkosas fish don’t seem to like this new food.
Annie, the biggest one, will spot me lifting the lid to the fish tank. She* will shot to the top and start sucking away at the surface despite the fact I haven’t even put in the food. Then when I have she will eat almost half of it before the other fish even know whats happening.
Also Larry the Loach doesn’t seem to be interested. Normally he will dash to the surface, grab a few flakes before quickly turning and snaking his way back under his cave. But this morning with this new food he just seemed to stay under his cave.

Maybe they are having an off day. Perhaps they are just used to their normal fish food -from a humans point of view the new stuff doesn’t smell as fishy foody as the regular stuff.
I’ll keep trying out the food see, at least to the weekend, to see if they get used to it.

I just wish they could give my the fins up or fins down about the food. That would be so much easier.

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