The next time…

Thursday 31 January at 1407 | Posted in Humour, Life, Personal, Rants, Sandwiches, Work | 14 Comments

The BBC website’s main story is about the awful weather. I wasn’t sure or not whether to chance the weather and make a dash for my regular sandwich shop? Continue Reading The next time……

I smell something fishy

Wednesday 09 January at 0832 | Posted in Humour, Life, Personal, Rants | 6 Comments

Can fish be picky?

I bought some new fish food the other day and they don’t seem to be eating it as much as their regular food. It was quite expensive stuff too, £5.70. Although it might of been more expensive then usual as it was twice as much.
It was also a well known brand of fish food, Tetra or something. I remember the name from the food that my mum used to use to feed that families fish. And it was saying that this was the premium gold fish food.
I don’t know how they can tell how fish like certain tastes? Do they have fish focus groups to trial different tastes, flavours and textures?

Regardless of how they do it, Pinkosas fish don’t seem to like this new food.
Annie, the biggest one, will spot me lifting the lid to the fish tank. She* will shot to the top and start sucking away at the surface despite the fact I haven’t even put in the food. Then when I have she will eat almost half of it before the other fish even know whats happening.
Also Larry the Loach doesn’t seem to be interested. Normally he will dash to the surface, grab a few flakes before quickly turning and snaking his way back under his cave. But this morning with this new food he just seemed to stay under his cave.

Maybe they are having an off day. Perhaps they are just used to their normal fish food -from a humans point of view the new stuff doesn’t smell as fishy foody as the regular stuff.
I’ll keep trying out the food see, at least to the weekend, to see if they get used to it.

I just wish they could give my the fins up or fins down about the food. That would be so much easier.

IMO News

Friday 04 January at 1503 | Posted in Humour, Life, Rants | 3 Comments

Well I’ve not do a lot today. I’ve read quite a bit of news, so here is my take on new stories around the World today.

American Politics. OK, I don’t no an awful lot about the American Presidential election. All I know is that Hilary Clinton is coming thrid, this is the first time in almost 50 years that an ex President of current President is campaigning. And the current leader of the Democratic party, Barack Obama, hopes to be the first black president.
I’m all for equal opportunies and the best of luck to Clinton and Obama, but for politics sake – and for the Worlds, seeing as America controls most of it – I hope the media don;t turn this in to a race race. There are alot of other things to think about other then America finally getting politically correct.

Britney being stretchered out of her home. I have a few comments on this. First why is the BBC reporting this? This is tabloid story. I would expect this to be reported on in The Sun/Star/Metro, but not from the BBC.
I suppose they need to get their viewers too and it’s a shame that they have to report on minor things like this to get everyones attention to their site.
In the end its us, the public that buy in to this shite so we are only fueling the media and letting them know what we want to read about, but it’s unhealthy to the people in the reports.
Worst though has to be the Perez Hilton site, that has nothing but the Britney Spears situation for about 3 pages. Why do they need to report so much? One entry says that the camera-man had noted the huge queue of press cars all parked outside Britneys house.
I think if I was Britney I’d take some unknown substances if I had queues of cars and helicopters about my house.
But it will never end. The general publics interest for this kind of rubbish keeps growing and the media need to keep feeding the ugly monster and now we get shows like Jordans Reality TV Show about having her breast reduction op. Something has to give soon as I hate to think what’s next/Which young star will overdose next?
We’re all idiots really.

Genius hoax. If you’re going to break in to a broadcastings computer you know you have to go in with a great idea. And what better idea then putting in a fake nuclear explosion? Fantastic.
I’d of loved to of heard the voices/seen the faces of the reporters. I bet they thought they were goiing to turn Jericho-esque. (Go watch Jericho. I mean it)

Dodge. Possibly the coolest photo I have seen in a very long time. A little old now, but I’ve just come across this. A marine biologist took to the sea in a kayak to hunt down a great white shark.
*Now repeat after me everyone in your best panto voice* “He’s behind you!”
Check out the large picture here and let me know what you think Trey Snow was saying to hisself?

Opera want Microsoft to stop installing Internet Explorer on all computers, or at least install a few other options. Which I completely agree with as I hate how Internet Explorer is tied in with Windows Explorer. It means I have to have IE sitting there when I would rather get rid of it, as if I did remove it the laptop would stop working.
Also I have recently re-installed Opera on my home computer. I’ve used Opera on/off now for a few years. But since I started doing up my iGoogle page I have found that some things don’t work well in it.
So I went back to Firefox but missed Opera alot. (It has better browsing speeds, they were the ones that first to use  Tabbed Browsing, mouse gestures and some other stuff I’m sure you will see in Firefox/IE in a few years)
Then I read that the reason why Opera doesn’t work in all websites is because Internet Explorer is so poorly made, this is also why there are alway security problems with it. But because IE is bundled everywhere it has become the unwritten web standard. 
It also fails at some ACID2 web standard test (and yes so does Firefox). Don’t worry though as IE8 – and Firefox 3 – will be able to meet the web standard test. Eventually.

Well I get to go home soon. It’ll be nice to get away from the news for a bit, before I get more annoyed at it all.

Bah humbug

Monday 24 December at 0912 | Posted in Humour, Life, Personal, Rants, Work | 8 Comments

Ok, I know it’s Christmas Eve, but I am in work.

In my defence I have the rest of the week off. I won’t be getting paid for my days off – I will miss a weeks pay during the period of time in the year that I spend the most money. Plus my employer has said I only have to work half a day and they will put in whole days pay. So I thought why not?

So in work and we have the radio on. The station are doing something nice and handing out £500 to people who are at work on Christmas Eve and Day. Aswell as sending some treats over to their work for all their colleagues to enjoy.
Just as the DJ asks the lucky new owner of £500 what his plans were with the money – I was now interested in this little telephone bit – one of the other two persons in the office gets up and does some photocopying and drowns out the the sound of the station with the photocopying mcahine.

Now I’ll never know what the guy planned to do with his money!

Not only am I annoyed by that. But also who comes in to work on Christmas Eve to do h’actual work? (Except Santa of course)

Merry Christmas dudes and dudettes.

And I hope you have a Neat New Year too!

(PS for those also stuck in the office today, check out this humorous post from Bettys blog)

The Cut

Thursday 20 December at 0930 | Posted in Life, Lifestyle, Personal, Rants | 6 Comments

Or “The downside to having a face lift.”

I’m quite good at shaving. I’ve been shaving my face on and off now for hmmmm….for around 8 years or so.

I’ve gone through many styles. The complete shave – when I first started. Then I started to go for the stubble look – this was way back when I was cool and went out to places called “clubs.” There was even a time when I thought I’d try and grow my beard and didn’t shave at all. That last a few months. I was quite pleased with my dedication.

But there is one thing that woman dislike it is stubble. Okay, maybe not all but some and they include my missus. So I shave. Which not only do I not mind but I prefer at the moment.
Obviously when shaving there is always that danger of cutting yourself. And I like almost all other men have done and will continue to cut my face sometimes when shaving.

But when I shaved yesterday I cut my lip. I’ve never cut my lip before. I don’t really shave my lips either. But for some reason I cut my lip a bit and it hurt. And there was quite a bit of blood for some time.
But it had stopped in time for me to head to work, saving me from bleeding everywhere. And there were no other problems, until I was talking with a colleague and politely laughed about something mildly funny and hardly interesting and my lip started to bleed again. So I had to race to the toilet for some tissue to stop the blood.

From that momnet on for the rest of the day I kept my top lip absolutely still. I had to make sure that no one, at all, made me laugh. Full stop.

I looked like the more handsome brother of Lesley Ash, or some other celeb hungry wannabe who has just had a mouthful of botox.

I don’t know how the rich and vain put up with really?

The Void

Friday 14 December at 1346 | Posted in Humour, Life, Personal, Rants, Work | 3 Comments

Or “Just. Feed. Me. Damn it”

Well my new job can get quite at times. The reasons for this are that I’ve not been shown the proverbial ropes. The office has like 6 people in it at most, at any given time. And there just isn’t much to do.
But the guy who is suppose to be training me has to do what little work there is, which leaves me with……

YOU!

I have so much free time that within a few days my Google Reader has shot from 99+ down to zero. I’m on top of my blogs and news. So much so I’ve added a few new ones.
But sometimes it gets a little quite. And I’ll check google and nothing. Sometimes I am even first to comment.

I’m getting so quick sometimes that I feel if I concentrate hard enough I will be able to comment on a entry that hasn’t even been submitted yet…

do you think they could put me in season 2 of Heroes?

The Forgettables

Wednesday 21 November at 2112 | Posted in Life, Personal, Rants | 11 Comments

Or “So boring. Nooo Simon”

I’ve been trying to think of a good entry for a while now.

Possible subjects that are running about my head are Five (no not the number, the band), Table Top Football (Whats the longest you can put off a blog entry before the idea is just. To. Old?), my annoyance at 118 (again not the number or the band but directory enquiries) and Argos or possibly even my coat being so old that not even the collar stays up (and I can really feel the cold on my neck these frosty mornings)

But if I’m being honest I’ve been playing too much Mario of late and so I am unprepared. I did want to blog about grotto’s, bit I haven’t the phone which really explains my rant.
I feel like a naughty kid who hasn’t done his homework.
But it doesn’t feel like real homework but those that kind of homework’s where you had to bring in something from home otherwise you couldn’t participate in lessons.
I once forgot to bring in an orange to one of my geography lessons. I never was able to find out exactly why 3D globes were never accurately portrayed in 2D books. I did bring common sense to that lesson, but I was told to keep that in my pencil case.

So instead I’m going to discuss my planned gig for Monday. Me and the missus are off all the way down to Brighton. We are planning on staying a few hours to catch a gig and then travelling home late at night, catching a few hours sleep and then off to work.
In order to see who you ask?
Amy Winehouse. I didn’t want to keep you in suspense too long.

Yes her gigs haven’t been the best of late. She has failed to turn up, took drugs on stage, cried and even left. But I have a solution to her problem of forgetting song lyrics. Would it be a good idea too take giant cards with my and write the lyrics to her songs on them?
How close to the stage would I have to get?
Will all the gig be a waste of time and will me and the missus feeling like shit the day after and wished we hadn’t gone?  (I hope not)

Whatever happens I’m still looking forward to it. If Winehouse is on form then all will be good. But I won’t be holding my breath.

Anyways, must dash, Heroes is on.

PS, why is acceptable to put cheese on beans, but feels wrong to put cheese on tinned spaghetti?

The forgotten one

Tuesday 13 November at 1645 | Posted in Humour, Lifestyle, Personal, Rants | 2 Comments

Or “How I should of learnt to never leave things lying around when a girl is present.”

When I was a kid I would leave all manner of things lying around in many many different places. This was because I would then know where I left it and where to find it when I need whatever it was again.
My mum didnt agree with my filing system and often referred to it as “a mess.”

I’d leave keys on tables or near the TV. My mum would move them to the key rack near the door. Who would ever look there for keys? I mean we had that thing for a few years and the only time anyone – including my mum herself – would look for keys on the keyrack was the day after she had been tidying up. Every other time we would look where ever we left the keys.

There is always one exception to the rule. I once placed a small teddy bear of my sisters in teh fish finger box in the freezer. I admit that one time I did forget all about it. But this time it was classed as a “joke” rather more then me putting something somewhere to come back to later.
The teddy was eventually found when my mum went to make tea one evening. Boy did she get a fright.

So anyway, I left a piece of paper lying around the flat more recently, ie this weekend, it had an ideato blog about. Quite a funny one. Mainly about me ranting about how I’ve become a ranty grumpy old man. Could that be classed as an Alanis Morissette ironicness?
Anyway, it was an idea, one I’ve had in my head a while now but only figured out best to express it on Saturday. There was a build up and even an anecdote involving how I used to wear my tshirts inside out, but the paper seems to of been tidied away. I put it somewhere, where I knew where to come back to and now it is gone. I think the missus may be stealing my ideas.
I’ll be keeping a close eye on my google notes and making sure my material isn’t stolen.

The Sandwich

Tuesday 06 November at 0823 | Posted in Humour, Life, Personal, Rants, Sandwiches, Work | 3 Comments

“Or How to make halfs seem filling.”

So I have found my favourite sandwich shop to visit on my lunch. It’s a nice shop with a lot of selection. Not too much. Just that perfect amount of selection that doesn’t fry my brain, allows me to take in all the different choices and I think my sandwich selection rotation has upped from three different fillings to a rota of five.

All good.

The problem is it is a little far away. Two-thirds of my lunch is spent walking to and from the deli shop. Another slight problem I have is the cost. It just seems to be random prices I get. This may be because I ask for strange fillings (ie chicken mayo with cheese & salad, or cream cheese, egg mayo and tomato).

B ut the other day I thought I had hit on a winner. I got a ham, cheese and mayo roll. It was cheap, less then £2. Then when I started eating my first half I noticed that they had put in a lot of filling. This was a very full and filling sandwich. I was rather surprised at the low price.
So I eagerly tucked in to the second half of the roll and was immediately shocked to notice that it had hardly anything in. A small piece of cheese and a slice of ham. But mostly just butter and mayo.

This hasn’t put me off visiting this sandwich shop. It’s still my favoured deli.

But you can’t judge a sandwich after only eating half of it. 

The Decoration

Wednesday 24 October at 2027 | Posted in Life, Lifestyle, Personal, Rants | 6 Comments

Or “How to learn to do things when the time is right.”

For the last few weeks I have been very worried about my time keeping. My worry stems from my judgement that the clocks should of gone back an hour a few weeks ago. I keep thinking that I will turn up for work or an appointment with a friend an hour early and stand around like a fool.

What I have found most difficult though is waking up this last few mornings with the house and bedroom being so dark. I find it much easier to wake up while its light. But these dark mornings make me wish that it wasnt 7 am but still 2 am and that I had a few hours sleep left.

After checking wikipedia it turns out the British Summer Time officially ends this Sunday. Thankfully I have not been one hour ahead of everyone;

Brisith Summer Time runs from the last Sunday in March to the last Sunday in October each year.”

So next week I should be ok with waking up. At least for a few weeks, until the dark mornings catch up again.

But my rant doesn’t end there.

Last week on my way home from the foosball tournement (more on that soon) I noticed that the council had started to employ people to hang the annual Christmas decorations.


If you look between the glare you may be able to make out Christmas being prepared.

My point being, how can people prepare for Christmas when the calendar shows it is still British Summer Time? Let us finish off the summer before we go ahead with putting up Christmas Trees please.

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