A few things to watch out for.

Thursday 24 May at 1128 | Posted in Life, Lifestyle, Personal, TV | 14 Comments

A few things you should at to your TV planner.

BBC have a few news things up there sleves.
First they have bought the rights to the first two series of Heros. Everyone should know about Heros, unless you’ve been in a coma for the last few months. Yes I know that not even series one has been shown but thats up soon. But series one should be out soon. One source says July another says Autumn.
Secondly they are making a new show called Outcasts. Made by the same production company that brought you Life on Mars but written by the writer from Spooks, this could be hit or miss.
The future of the Earth looks bad and the race is on to find a new home in the Universe. A group of social misfits and brainy criminals are sent out to build the conditions of new life.

Sky One has Noel Edmonds hosting a new quiz show that I reckon could be a hit – or at least alot of fun – called “Are You Smarter Then a 10 Year Old?” Seems pretty simple enough. I’m sure there will be some sort of twist, but I reckon having a few friends/family around to shout out answers could lead to alot of ribbing for any wrongly answered questions.

In the US – which means we will have it in about 4 years – Kelsey Grammer makes a come back. After watching alot of Fraiser on Paramount with the missus recently I will keep an eye of his new show called “Back To You.” An achor man has an on air melt down and moves back home. Could be like a smart version of Anchor Man.
Sarah Connor Chronicles is a series based on the female character from the Terminator movies. This is expected to be very massive budget show. The pilot alone cost about £4 million.
A few more Sex and the City type shows are out. Lipstick Jungle, from the creator of Sex and the City and Cashmere Mafia, staring Lucy Liu, will both be fighting for the same audience.
And one of my favourite ideas for a show coming soon to the US is Journeyman. A reporter and ex gambling addict travels back in time inexplicable to change people’s lifes. It’s good to see some thought has gone in to this show. (I doubt it will be anywhere near as good as the fantastic Quantum Leap – which is being re-reun far too early on ITV3)

One show that does hit our screens soon, on Wednesday in fact is Big Brother. I’m pretty glad that I’m going to be days away from civilisation so I don’t have to put up with the first show and the meedja circus that follows. But saying that it does get a bit slow in work so I think alot of the TVs in here will always have it on. Can’t argue with the boss.

And finally. For those that have nothing to do in work and bored of reading the same old news, the BBC now has it’s very own weird news section. Also in the news can be found in the BBC News section under Entertainment in the list of categories on the left side bar. I only found this today, so Im going to kill the next 30 minutes by reading some good news.

One last thing. While discussing 80’s Childrens Shows on Facebook yesterday I went to youtube the old theme tune to Cities of Gold – by far the best 80s kids theme tune – when I came across this gem. Anyone remember watching this a year or two ago?

“It’s time for us all to go now. But don’t forget to get your twanger’s out and play with your balls.”

Finger-firmly-on-head-Genius!

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To share or not to share.

Tuesday 22 May at 0839 | Posted in Life, Lifestyle, Personal | 15 Comments

When I started at my new job there was some talk and alot of advertising about share dealing. Apparently staff were going to get a good deal on shares. Well not just a good deal but were going to be handed lots of free shares.

Very good deal.

A few weeks ago a letter dropped through the door for myself. I was more then surprised when opening it to find that I had been offered £500 worth of shares. And only having worked here a few weeks.

So the instructions were to keep the shares. Or to sell them back to the company for the price they paid – not the current price – and earn a nice little bonus.

I figured it would be nice to have shares and to keep hold of them. So while people around me decided to sell theirs off straight away I thought I’d keep hold of them.

I pictured me in a few months time having a nice little break on some beach in France with the missus having tripled my money on my shares, while everyone else sits at work.
Perhaps a nice break in Nice. haha. I’ve wanted to go there for a while now.

Then I did a little investigating.
The share price that we got the shares for was £1.20. The highest price of the shares in the last 4 or 5 years was £1.40. The price had been recovering for a bad few months also prior to what we had so had hit quite a low recently. So I started to figure these shares aren’t going to give me much profit. About 20p per share at the best.

Then yesterday the price was showing at £1.17 and today it’s down again to £1.16.

Now Im not a gambling man. But I know the odds of me making money in the near future from these is highly unlikely.

I have until Thursday to sell off my shares at the £1.20 price.

I hope the missus doesn’t mind swapping a cottage holiday on the coast of France for a caravaning holiday on the coast of Wales.

These boots were made for walking

Friday 18 May at 1033 | Posted in Life, Lifestyle, London, Personal | 13 Comments

This post is not sponsored by Walk It. Although go check out their site if you are walking around London.

So after being settled in work for a few days and getting to know the area I started to wonder if there was a better way of getting to work other then taking two tubes. There aren’t many things I know I dislike, but I am confident I hate the rush hour tubes. I tried doing the whole tube thing, and I like the tube, just not of a morning of when I’m trying to get home. Only when it’s empty.

Then I was tipped off about an overground train that ran from Blackfriars to Farringdon. “Excellent,” I thought. “This is the break I have been waiting for.” What this meant was getting half the amount of trains from my terminating station to work.
After trying it out once I thought “Yessssssss.” Not only was my time on a train cut dramatically – although I did have an extra few minutes to walk – there wasn’t that many people on the train either meaning I wasn’t as squashed as taking the tube. I don’t think I have ever been that squashed. I don’t know how some people do it.

Now although I found I enjoyed my new journey home I wasn’t to happy about the time getting home. Overground trains are no where near as frequent as their underground younger sister.
Then on one journey home my connecting train from Farringdon to Blakfriars arrived earlier. Or the train running before my regular one was running late. I got on and jumped on the first train at Blackfriars to Bromley. It was then I was pleased to find this new train I was on that I’ve never got before as it leaves 20 minutes before I get there is a fast train. Stops at two places before Bromley. When I was home I noticed it had cut a third of my time spent travelling.

So the next day in work I looked on the TFL website – even though it never gives the best times – to see what time this train I got the previous day should actually get in to Farringdon at? Would I be able to get this new train everyday and cut my traveling time down by 30 minutes? Well according to the site there was no chance. I had no hope of getting to Farringdon in time to get the connecting train unless it always ran late.

I tried a few bus combinations of trying to get to Farringdon to get the connecting train. None worked. It was then I noticed this

All my plans were taking in to account getting to Farringdon. TFL tipped me off on walking direct to Blackfriars. I never realised they were so close. They seemed quite far apart on the connecting train.

So I tried to walk. Leaving work at 1745, walk right past Farringdon and straight to Blackfriars. In attempt to get the 18.11 train. And you know what? It worked. Walking is faster then getting a train.

And it wasnt a fluke. Everyday since I started walking to Blackfriars to get the fast train I have always got home 30 minutes earlier. Much happier. And fitter.

I’m starting to think that London is much smaller then you’d think when on foot.

The 137th Joke

Wednesday 16 May at 1128 | Posted in Humour, Life, Personal | 12 Comments

Or “How to tell if there is an elephant in the room.” 

Let me picture the scene for you. I feel much more comfortable picturing the scene then asking you all to come in to our bedroom.

In the background, and advert for elephant.co.uk plays in the livingroom. The missus is asleep in bed. I take some clothes, or something else that is not important to the story, in to the room. The noise I make as I walk in the bedroom wakes up the missus. I lie on the bed to say good morning.

*loud elephant noise comes from the living room*
Missus: *Eyes shoot wide open, slight look of horror.* “What was that?”
(Two ideas spring to my mind. First one, I can explain that the TV is on and the noise is coming from an advert with an elephant in it. Or I can make fun of her. Which one should I chose?)
Me, in a faux-sincere voice: “It’s okay. It’s only elephants. I’ll make sure they leave soon.”

It’s been a few days since she said this and the other day she thought that maybe it would be best to explain why she would say something silly.
Here is her explanation.

Pinkosa: “Well it was early, I had just woken up and I couldn’t hear the actors voices.”
Now two ideas spring to my head at this point. I’m starting to think I can only manage two thoughts per moment. The first is to accept the explanation and to drop the joke. Or I can make fun of her. Which one should I chose?
Me: “So what you’re saying is that because you couldn’t hear the actors voice you couldn’t be to clear on whether there was an advert playing, or if there was an ACTUAL elephant in the living room?”
Pinkosa: “Not funny” *Turns back to me*

I think that I should be allowed at least a week to drag out this joke. Don’t you?

There’s a party on the hill dya wanna come?

Monday 14 May at 1559 | Posted in Lifestyle, London, Personal | 7 Comments

I’ve been in London a few months now. I’ve tried looking everywhere for ideas on good nights out. Trying to find that one place that I can rely on for a night out. The place where when its on, all other plans should be scrapped.
Staying as far away from any major names when it comes to clubbing. If they have their own fitness video out, it cant be that good of a club. But after searching, and pretty much losing with my last few finds, I came across a hint from a colleage.  Ladies and Gentleman, my search is other.

The boy who likes a party.

Thanks to the great guys over at Buttoned Down Disco I had a fantastic evening out. I think I may of even found a new playground. Strictly not on school nights of course.

Despite the missus being a bit worried as I led her down some dark back streets, with no lighting and over 90% of the buildings boarded up we eventually reached The Hub – which was hosting this evening Buttoned Down Disco, but the venue changes each party.

There was a great selection of people. From guys with beards, to student types, to cool kids who looked like they just come out of an eighties punk video, to David Bowie playing on a projector – perhaps the cool kids were wannabe Bowie backing singers?? Even a whole group of the missus old school friends appeared.

Although most of the crowd were probably from the nearby Met Uni. Which meant they were young. And I felt old. Really old. I hope I wasnt as baby faced when I was there age. I cant believe I’m saying “when I was there age” and I’m only 25.

But that didnt stop me throwing a few shapes and here are some of my favourite photos.


Here is my about to throw some massive shapes.


And me about twenty seconds later after throwing some shapes. Notice no drink in my hand anymore. Oops.

What would you guess was the song I was dancing to?

Here is a clue, it isnt this choooon by Prodigy, although this was played at some point.

There are plenty more photos available on the missus Facebook album. Go find her and have a look at them.

So if you want a good, cheap, excellent and major fun night out I highly recommend you go sign up to Buttoned Down Disco’s mailing list. There is no other way of finding out where the secret location of the next party is.

Maybe Ill see you there?

Its not like the movies

Friday 11 May at 1050 | Posted in Humour, Life, Lifestyle, London, Personal, Rants | 3 Comments

I rarely go to church. Infact only family can get me to go. I like my laugh the way it is, I don’t need to be told I’m going to Hell. I already know. But it would help my argument if I stayed away from churches.

The boy who likes to play Godfather 

Last weekend I went back to Runcorn for the Christening of my niece. Or step niece. Or half step niece. Either, Im a Godfather.

I didnt have to say much. Which was good as everytime I opened my mouth I seemed to offend the second Godfather sitting next to me.  Turns out he is a Christian. I wish I had known this earlier. That way I wouldnt of opened the hymn book at any page and I’d of not questioned the priest mentioning a sponsor during prayers. I thought this is a little unheard of. What do I know? This is just going to make it much harder for me at the Pearly Gates when my video tape is shown.
It didnt click until half way through the ceremony that all his singing was much more then just his happiness of being a chosen one for little Rose. But there were other factors in his singing.

He had to be a Christian.

I wish Christians could wear something to makle them stand out. It would help. Perhaps they could wear a “I hate Harry Hill” badge? That way we would all be able to tell. And it would cause me no embarrassment.

Other things I learnt while back home in Runcorn. Beer up there is far far cheaper to buy. Like a third of the price then down here. This doesnt mean that buying everyone you see a pint or two is a good idea, as youll end up just as skint.

But there isnt enough time to be skint. I’m off out to another new club. Buttoned Down Disco.
I know it says it’s a secret location, but if you want to go and cant get a email invite from joining their mailing list let me know and I’ll send you mine.

The eMails

Thursday 10 May at 1059 | Posted in Life, Lifestyle, Personal, Rants | 5 Comments

Or “Learning to live with a finger on the delete button.”

I have a friend. Well not really a friend, just an old work colleage. This friend likes to eMail a lot. Very lots indeed. (This day I am doing away with English.)
But a high number of her eMails are just chain mails or something. If you wanted to put a percentage on it – I know alot of people need nice round figures – I’d say it was a high percentage.
I constantly have to delete this persons eMail’s. Most of the time I don’t even open them.

There really isn’t no nice way of saying “listen, if your going to email me, please don’t include the rest of your address book and leave the body of the text under hundreds of lines of forwarding information.”

As we all know beating around the bush won’t work. But being direct could be bad.

I’m thinking that the easiest way to approach this subject is to not approach it. Just have a rule in my inbox that bins all emails from this person with “FW:” in the title.

Will that work?

If that doesn’t work I could keep sending tins of Spam – the precooked  meat – through her letter box with “FW:You” written on them.

You’d of thought that we would live in a society where people had come to realising that forwarding on Viral emails to people was rude.
Everyone knows if you want to show people crap things you just create a blog…

Wiiiiiii

Wednesday 09 May at 0834 | Posted in Wii | 6 Comments

For those who have a Wii here is a little bit of blogging good news.

A while back I championed the new Google Reader.

Well now you can get a Wii mode for your Google Reader. It even comes with Wiimote controls.
Just visit here. Don’t forget to bookmark.

PS you have to have the Internet Channel, this is not it’s own channel. Although I do think a RSS Channel on the Wii would be fantastic.

Tidbits

Friday 04 May at 1311 | Posted in Humour, Life, Lifestyle, London, Personal | 5 Comments

Over heard
“Viewer telephoned to say he was disappointed in the Jeremy Kyle show today. He felt that there was not enough information given out about the subject of paedophilia. As a paedophile offender himself, he found the programme very unbalanced.”

Spotted
A paracetemol machine next to the condom machin in the boys toilets. Great piece of marketing.

Check this out
Women goes in to labour at bingo. Gives birth at hospital. Gives the kid the most Chav of all Chav names.
Mika Jade Gala. Poor kid. It didnt even have a chance. 

And some travel warning. Ill be wheeling a suitcase in the Holborn/Euston area’s. You’ve been warned.

God loves everyone

Thursday 03 May at 1142 | Posted in Humour | 7 Comments

…but Christians hate Harry Hill.

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